Many of you asked me “Why are you going to Bangladesh” and I hopefully answered that I felt God wanted me to learn something here, maybe that I wasn’t really sure what it was, but that I had felt God showing me a direction or ‘vision’, and that I was willing to be a part of it. I was excited to grow and to learn; yet I was also willing to give and to serve others.
In complete truth I often wonder what I am doing here and how a young Canadian woman can have an impact in a society of millions. I am reminded of something I used to think about years ago; that it is not the big things that you didn’t do, but the small things that you did do.
Perhaps no one will ever remember that I didn’t teach all of Bangladesh to know Christ as their Savior, and perhaps I won’t feed all the hungry, and clothe all the poor…but perhaps, Lord willing, I will change one life, impact one heart, and show love to one person who figured that the world had forgotten them...and I can tell you truthfully, it would make my entire year worth every moment.
I am really not sure how all of this will add up here in Bangladesh…how do I cope when I walk by a woman who has been cast out of her family and burned with acid begging on the street…or when I say “na na’ to the children that bombard me in the markets in order to avoid being completely mulled if I only give to one…how can I gather the courage and strength I need to change the world for one person when I struggle in my days to understand the society and language and find my own place in it?
These are the questions I pose to God in submission to His will for my life while trying to remind myself that really, honestly, and truthfully, we never do know where we are going in life do we? I mean, sure, even back there in the West, back in Edmonton, do you really know where you are going to be tomorrow? Can you really say that for sure? What control do we really have in life?
We like to think we have a direction, perhaps a vision or a dream, yet really, even in the strongest of times do we really ever know what is best for us? As I am sitting here reflecting on why I thought I came here, what I thought I would be doing and how I thought things would go. I have to be honest in saying that I am excited to find out how wrong I really was! I hope you are following me. What I am trying to say, God puts concisely in Isaiah 55:8-9: “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, saith the Lord, For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.” I still don’t know where I am going, or what I am doing, as none of us do. But I do know one thing, whatever it is that God has in store for me, I am willing, ready, and will give it all that I have in me.
When it comes down to it, we really are much the same aren’t we? We all feel sorrow and pain, regret and joy, happiness and peace. We all have a sense of desire to understand a greater picture. Perhaps if we all started our days realizing this there would be a lot more love and grace in the world today.
-- Corinne Olson, Aug 29/09
7 comments:
Hey Cori,
Glad to hear that you're excited that you were wrong about what you thought you'd be doing there! Felicia and I are praying for you regularly and hope you are having a great time!
Hi Cori. We are missing you at church. Glad that it seems like you are feeling better. Practicing the fiddle and flute?
Hi Richard and Felicia and Larry:
Richard and Felicia - Thank you for your prayers and I miss you!
Larry - Yes! But mostly trying to learn how to teach...
You go, Miss Corinne!
One thing that you know for sure, if someone asks "what do you expect to change by being in Bangladesh?" you can answer "Myself!"
I wonder if sometimes God works in the first or second derivative of our life equation. The rate of change, and whether that rate is accelerating, matters.
You would probably laugh at us here for complaining that it got too hot (29 for three straight days!) or too windy (the power was off for 12 hours last month!) or they are banning Weed & Feed products next year so everyone is stocking up and stores are sold out. For sure you must be learning that what people think is important varies depending on how far away from mere survival their daily needs are.
Roaches and other 'loathsome creatures' are disgusting to us at a primal level, and their ability to leave roach juice and body parts around as they leave their mortal existence behind (because you whacked one with a shoe) helps ensure the survival of their brothers and cousins. THEY are survivors.
You are a blessing in Dhaka, Corinne. Just by being there you change lives both there and here in Edmonton; and by you changing as a result of the experiences you have, you change more lives there and in Edmonton. May you always know that you do not have to 'succeed' according to outside standards, you just have to be attentive to His still, small voice; and to go through the doors that God presents to you, in His time.
I pray for blessings of strength and health for you. You can do all things, through Christ who strengthens you. //Stuart
Great blog Corinne...very inspiring. I'm so excited to see your updates and share just a little in your journey. Miss you SO much. 10 (?) months to go!! :)
Kelly
Cori, you inspire me in ways that I cannot even define. I may not comment to each post, but cousin, your journey and writing is slowly changing lives both here and abroad.
Hugs
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Great thoughts Cori - I've just finished catching up on reading...still have some pictures to go through. What an adventure you're having. Love your sence of humour - that's the best way to approach the differences. Better that then CRY! :-)
Love Ya!
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